Week 6 Weekend Picks

[The Ancient Enemy]

I still think he sucks.

Wake Forest vs. Florida State:
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- Wake is another one of those ACC teams that is not good at all but has the ability to sneak up on peeps when dey ain't lookin'. Don't expect that to happen this week, as Weatherford continues to mature as a quarterback and as an adult, since he is 13 years old and going through puberty. "It's been a whacky ride," says Weatherford with a crackled voice. Expect this game to end up about 45-0. Chris Barclay will not get 100 yards. Yes I mention Chris Barclay every week because I have nothing else to say about Wake Forest.


I'd bet Barry Alvarez only eats glazed donuts. He seems like a pretty lame guy.

Wisconsin vs. Northwestern:
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- This is what TAE commonly calls "a possible upset". Northwestern is a team who loves to loves to programs like Indiana Tech and then beat Michigan the following week. The Wildcats also have the capability of making good teams very unhappy in the Big Ten, and are due for their annual upset. G-Roz back home says Wisconsin is a very complete team. I say they are a completely ripe for an upset. In Alvarez's last season, maybe the Badgers will get it together and keep it together. Who gets the job next year? With 60 running backs in Denver, if I'm Ron Dayne, I'm looking for a new job. Give me the Badgers by 6, but I smell an upset.


Even Stinkin' Lincoln is prepared for someone sneaking up on him and the Illini from behind, as he learned that lesson the hard way.

Illinois vs. Indiana:
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- Much more importance was placed on this game this week when the BCS committee told the nation that the winner of this battle will receive the Big East's BCS slot. This epic collision features the 2nd worst coach on Earth (I think Schiano has proven his position in the top spot) Ronnie "Dashingly Incompetent" Zook vs. Terry "I Had More Depth at MoHo" Hoeppner. Blake Powers looks to explout that notorious Illini defense, who has not had a player above the "C" level since Simeon Rice and Kevin Hardy graduated in about 1986. Just a side note, anyone notice that Ron Turner got fired at Illinois and then promoted into the NFL? Classic. And we wonder why the Bears are the worst franchise in the land. Also coincidental that Dave Wannstedt coached there for many long and agonizing years. Give me Illinois by 1.


These two idiots are getting married at half-time.

West Virginia vs. Rutgers:
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- I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who thinks that Brian Leonard should be the coach of this football team. Expect the mighty Knights to jump out to a 50 point lead and then lose by 6. As much as I hate West Virginia and all their inbreedin' and moonshinin' and buckteethin' bulls**t, you have to give Rodriguez credit for what he has done with such a young and bad football team. This might end up being the game of the week, if somehow Greg Schiano resigns or his fired before kickoff. Anyone else could make this a battle. WVU by 15.


Marshall's scoreboard.

Marshall vs. Virginia Tech:
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- Nothing like a 70 point loss to boost your confidence after losing to Central Florida.


"Some people think I have a weight problem."

Kansas vs. Kansas State:
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- Here's a real clash. The true question here is whether or not the 9th Wonder of the World Mark Mangino will mistake Bill Snyder's cucpcake schedule as Bill Snyder being an actual cupcake. I'd like to say that K-State easily wins this game, but then I remember who the coaches are who are participating in it. After coming off 77 straight wins over teams like Colorado A&T and Our Lady of Beaverdale, K-State failed miserably in their attempt to beat a very weakened OU last week. Kansas became the first I-A victim to Texas Tech, and every Krispy Kreme along the way fell victim to the Mangino Monster. Expect K-State to do everything they possibly can to lose this game, but still somehow manage to win by 1 point.


He'll kill him eventually.

Mississippi State vs. Florida:
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- BREAKING NEWS: Mississippi State makes history yet again by hiring Sylvester Croom. Not only is he the first black coach in SEC history, he's also the first black coach in SEC history to get his **** kicked by Urban Meyer. After that devastating performance in Tuscaloosa last weekend, Meyer knows what he has to do to get his credibility back. And with the way this guy runs his team, I'm expecting a 40 point blowout. Urban Meyer is the type of guy who has his kids grow up and put a bullet in his brain.

Virginia vs. Boston College:
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- UVA dropped the ball last week against a pretty helpless Maryland squad. BC continues to be one of the best teams in the nation, and knocks off this ranked opponent.

Minnesota vs. Michigan:
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- UM looks like they should, now that pretty much everyone is back on the field. Don't look for Minnesota to put up much fight in this one.

Maryland vs. Temple:
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- The second best I-A team in PA, the Temple Owls, look to pull one out against a average Maryland squad who is coming off a big win over Virginia. Won't happen, though, and Maryland wins this game by 800 points.


SCATHING!!!

Oklahoma vs. Texas:
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- I've been trying to figure out a way all week to pick OU and have it make sense. However, Peterson may not even play, and OU is missing linemen from a group that is already depleted from last season. Add that to the fact that Bomar totally sucks, and once again the OU secondary is suspect. Texas looks pretty solid for the most part, but the main thing here is the fact that Mack Clown has won his last 2 big games. Previously, he lost every one of them. Tomorrow makes it three in a row. As much as I would LOVE to see OU win this, it's just not going to happen. I am expecting UT to lay it on Oklahoma hard, and try to seriously beat them by 100 points. In reality, they'll probably win by 8 or 9.

Central Michigan vs. Army:
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- Bobby Ross can't lose to CMU. It's just not natural. Army by 1.

Kentucky vs. South Carolina:
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- Here's another potential upset, but I see the Gamecocks getting back on track and continuing to make slow progress under Spurrier.

Akron vs. Buffalo:
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- I think there may be middle-of-the-road teams in the Laurel Highlands that can beat Buffalo. Akron by 7.

Air Force vs. Navy:
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- Oh, the intensity of the military games. I am so excited. Air Force.

Baylor vs. Iowa State:
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- What did Dan McCarney do last week? Exactly what I said he'd do: choke and ruin the season for his team. Iowa State has got to have the worst coaching staff in the Big 12. But they'll win this one.

The Citadel vs. Mississippi:
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- A team called "The Citadel" should ahve to have a very top-notch defense or else face expulsion from their conference. Ole Miss actually wins a game.

Missouri vs. Oklahoma State:
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- OSU is the worst team I have seen all year so far, and they are even so bad that they're going to make Missouri look good. That team is clueless. Missouri by 17.


In this photo Dave WannSPLAT shows how he has survived all of these years on Earth: by perfectly balancing stupidity and frustration.

Cincinnati vs. Pittsburgh:
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- If they don't beat Cincinnati... Hell, give me Pitt by 4.

San Diego State vs. UNLV:
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- Special message to college football schools: just because a team jumps out of nowhere and does well for 2 years, does not mean that their assistant coaches are ready for head jobs. UNLV is in all kinds of trouble under Sanford. SDSU, on the other hand, is absolutely horrible, but wins this game.

TCU vs. Wyoming:
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- Could end up being the game of the week. TCU typically has tough defenses against good teams, and not so tough defenses against SMU. Give me TCU by 1.

San Jose State vs. Utah State:
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- Utah State lost to Idaho. San Jose got obliterated by San Diego. Jesus.... give me... Utah State.

Arizona vs. USC:
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- Good confidence booster for USC. Trojans by 30.

Duke vs. Miami:
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- Miami is 35 point favorites in this game. They'll get it down, but not by 35.

Georgia vs. Tennessee:
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- Bigtime SEC clash. Both teams are overrated as usual, and this game can really go either way. I'm going to take Tennessee because I hate Richt worse than Fulmer, which is a big statement.

Texas Tech vs. Nebraska:
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- I think Nebraska has a real chance of making this competitive, but give me Tech by 21.

Idaho vs. Nevada:
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- Two in a row for the Vandals? Make it so!

North Carolina vs. Louisville:
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- John Bunting and his Tarheels love to beat teams they should never beat. But I don't see it this week. Louisville by 16.

Iowa vs. Purdue:
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- This is a real toss-up. Give me the Hawks in a close one.

Stanford vs. Washington State:
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- Stanford definitely lost to UC Davis. Wazzou by 20.

Rice vs. East Carolina:
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- I wasn't lying when I said I'd never pick a team that was coached by Spanky Holtz. Rice by 1.

Ohio vs. Bowling Green:
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- I'd love to see Ohio win this, but its not happening this season.

Memphis vs. Central Florida:
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- Three straight for UCF? Unfortunately, the Pain Train gets derailed this week against Memphis.

Houston vs. Tulane:
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- Houston can score from anywhere on the field. Give me the Coogs by 12.

Utah vs. Colorado State:
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- Woes continue for Whittingham. This is what happens when a guy on the staff is handed a job after the last head coach was the one who invented the offense. This guy is trying to run someone else's offense, and it shows. Utah sucks. CSU by 14.

SMU vs. UAB:
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- Hackney might throw for 500 yards. UAB by 500.

UL Monroe vs. Arkansas:
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- Razorbacks get back on track.

Texas A&M vs. Colorado:
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- Close call. This is a game A&M really needs to win, and I think they have something to prove. Give me the Ags in Boulder by 6.

LSU vs. Vanderbilt:
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- It's a long way down for Jay Cutler and the Commies. LSU by 25.

Hawaii vs. LA Tech:
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- Tough call. Tech at home.

Eastern Michigan vs. Toledo:
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- Rockets by 36.

Ball State vs. Western Michigan:
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- WMU gets their FOURTH win? Believe it.

Cal vs. UCLA:
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- If Dorrell is going to get that team back on top, they need to win the games over teams like ASU and Cal before they can knock off USC. I'll take UCLA in this one.

Ohio State vs. Penn State:
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- Nits need an early lead, and need to play mistake-free football. Must establish a decent running game, and must play to their potential on defense. I think they will. Penn State by 6.

BYU vs. New Mexico:
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- Lobos at home.

Portland State vs. Boise State:
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- Boise on the blue turf.

Oregon vs. Arizona State:
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- ASU is for real, despite the losses to LSU and USC.

Tulsa vs. Southern Miss:
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- Eagles continue to win games. Very under-rated program.

Fresno State vs. New Mexico State:
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- No chance. Fresno by 30.

[fleaflicker]

After a not so great weekend (for either one us) full of upsets and surprises, the results are in! TAE has gone 31-18 over the weekend, to push his total record to 255-78. I went 33-16 over the weekend, which effectively gets rid of TAE's 2 game lead, and things are tied up once again. The literary hero from North Texas and so called 'expert' from Northern Kentucky are all tied up at 255-78. Keep watching, as there are 9 more weeks to go, and then the bowl season.